Fiona’s Birth Story!

Ok. Took me a little while to sit down to write this because…holy crap I have 3 kids now (still adjusting to even saying that). Any “free” time I’ve had up until now I just wanted to spend doing absolutely nothing, if not napping. Or trying to be somewhat productive around the house because that actually makes me feel more like a normal human (and not JUST a milk-dispensing, diaper-changing, baby-snuggling machine…though I am a big fan of the last one!) Sitting down to write a blog post usually takes quite a bit of time and thought. I go back and re-read, re-write things, etc. before posting. So it’s somewhat time-consuming and I just haven’t had much of a chance until now (or a willingness to use my brain more than necessary lol). And even now, before finishing this first paragraph I’ve been interrupted at least 5 times. But I will press on! Anyway, I’ll get more into what life at home has been like in my next post. For now, this one’s all about the arrival of BG3- miss Fiona Joy!

Things actually began on July 21st. In God’s crazy timing, that’s exactly 1 year to the day since Ivor’s accident and the miscarriage of our twins. Now, you’ll have to forgive me because I’m about to get all sentimental and spiritual up in here. From the day I found out I was pregnant and realized what my due date was, I couldn’t help but marvel at God’s goodness and be overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessing of this little “rainbow baby”.  A tangible reminder for our family of the beauty and joy that can come after pain and suffering. I think it’s a really beautiful and powerful parallel actually to physical childbirth. There is a great pain involved, but it’s productive pain. And the end result is LIFE…a living, breathing child entering the world. Instead of fighting against the pain, you embrace it and let it move through you because you know what’s coming at the end. Doesn’t make it any easier at the time and you may ask for some meds to help you through it. But it’s always worth it. I think we can view grief and suffering in the same way. It sucks and it might be a really long road, but God can and will redeem it. It’s never in vain. He can bring something beautiful out of it if you let him. I don’t believe God causes the suffering, but he allows it and redeems it and uses it. I’ve seen it happen.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5)

I’ve included a music video at the end of this post that means a lot to me. I heard this song after my first miscarriage and the tears just immediately started to flow because I could relate to the lyrics so much. I’m sure Paramore didn’t write it about a miscarriage, but it’s generic enough that it could apply to many different situations. For me, it’s about how I felt after my miscarriages and that transition from fighting against the pain to embracing it and just “letting it happen”. It was also going through my head during every contraction while in labor.

So now, back to July 21st, 2016.

My braxton hicks contractions felt different this day. They weren’t more painful, but instead of an all-over tightening feeling in my abdomen, there was pressure much lower and it radiated around my lower back. So that made me take notice of them and start tracking them. I did this for a few hours that evening while we were watching Netflix. They were pretty consistent and not going away. But not getting any stronger either. So we went to bed. Of course right before falling asleep I finally told Ivor that I thought I *might* be in early labor, but that he should try to get some sleep anyway. Apparently that was a mistake and he couldn’t fall asleep after that lol. I did though 🙂

Until about 3:15 ish-am (now July 22nd) when I woke up to a contraction and my water breaking! But this was much different from when my water broke with Gwen. This time, there was quite a bit of blood involved and it freaked me the heck out. So we left for the hospital in somewhat of a panic. Thankfully I felt her move around in the car on the way there so that was reassuring. We checked into the hospital shortly after 4am. The nurse assured me that the bleeding thing was totally normal. I had just never experienced that until after being in labor for quite awhile and in the hospital AFTER my water had already broken, not at the same time (in my previous pregnancies).

She checked me and I was 5, almost 6 cm dilated and 80% effaced. She confirmed that my water did indeed break. So I thought “hooray! this will go quickly!”

Until it didn’t. Things were not progressing quickly at all. We started pitocin. Still…no progress. We increased the dose of pitocin and still…not much progress. Contractions were still frequent and started to get more painful. So much so that I did end up getting an epidural (more on that later), but not enough to dilate more and move things along. So the nurses determined that it was likely a sort of “partial” water breakage that happened in the middle of the night. Or, it broke, but then baby was in the way of full drainage. If that makes any sense to you. So the plan was for my doctor to come in and break it the rest of the way because that would likely get things moving big time (especially with my history- once they broke my water with Ivor Baby, he basically popped out 5 mins later).

But the on-call doctor was apparently super busy with patients all day and took forever to show up. I still don’t understand why another doctor couldn’t have just come in and taken care of it, but whatever. So to recap- we got to the hospital around 4am and the doctor didn’t arrive to see me until 6pm. SIX PM. This baby could’ve been born so much earlier in the day. Anyway. Once my doctor finally arrived and broke my water, sure enough, things got crazy fast. My epidural basically stopped working and I started feeling the contractions again, and mostly on just one side. Even after having them “top off” my dosage. All that did was increase the numbing on one side of my body and do absolutely nothing to the other side. I apparently have bad luck with epidurals. That’s what I get for trying to fight against the pain and keep some control ;-P

I then got really hot and sweaty and faint. I know this feeling well- this is what happens right before I’m ready to push. The doctor came back in shortly thereafter and checked me and asked if I was ready. Yes. Yes I was. I gave my first push with the next contraction and then the doctor got dressed and everyone else prepped for delivery. Then 3-4 more pushes later, she was here! At 6:34pm. 8lbs 0oz, 20 in. long.

After confirming that she was really a girl (I’m always paranoid that the ultrasound tech is wrong), one of the first things I said was “omg look at all her hair!!’ And that’s basically what everyone says when they see it haha. I love it. And I love her. I love our new family of 5.

We are so thankful to have her in our lives. Our 3rd rainbow baby (since my very first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, I consider all 3 of my kids little rainbows).

Thank you all for the well wishes on her arrival <3 She’s so sweet and snuggly and soft. Despite the sleep deprivation, I’m enjoying this “simple” newborn stage (eat, sleep, poop) before she starts talking back and throwing tantrums and peeing on the floor 🙂

Coming Soon…..”Life with 3 Kids, Ages 3, 2, and brand new!”

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BG3 (Fiona) Pregnancy Update- probably the last one!

Due Date: July 23, 2016

How Far Along: 38 weeks (39 weeks on Saturday)

Next Appointment: July 19th

Gender: GIRL!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: + 35lbs or so….I have an ice cream sandwich problem right now. And I’m not ashamed.

Exercise: Any movement feels like exercise at this point lol

Stretch Marks: No

Swelling: Yes- comes and goes. Usually at the end of the day, particularly when it’s hot.

Maternity Clothes: Yes but not for long! I’m so over it. I want my old wardrobe back!!

Belly Button: Popped.

Sleep: Waking up at least once every night to pee- sometimes 2-3 times. And getting out of bed right now is the WORST.

Food Cravings: Ice cream sandwiches

Food Aversions: Nada

Symptoms: All the pain and discomfort.

Movement: Still nice and active in there.

Labor Signs: Braxton hicks, 2cm dilated, 50% effaced. Just waiting for real contractions to begin at this point.

What I Miss: My non-maternity wardrobe. And being comfortable.

What I’m Loving: Getting closer to her due date!

What I’m Looking Forward To: See above. I am SO excited to meet her and can’t believe how close it is now 🙂

Best Moment This Week: Always love hearing her heartbeat on the doppler at my doctor’s appointments. Since I’m so close to my due date I’ve been having weekly appointments, so I get to hear it often!

Words of Wisdom: Listen to your body- ask for help- rest when you can and don’t feel guilty! That’s been the theme for me recently. If I want to nap and eat an ice cream sandwich, that’s just what I’m gonna do 🙂 Because life’s about to get a whole lot crazier, very soon!

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The Baby Blues

Because it’s not often talked about, I want to talk about it. In the event that you come visit me in the days following the birth of our 3rd child and you see me looking sad or crying on the couch after such a joyous occasion, here’s why.

There’s a period of time shortly after you give birth that is commonly referred to as the “baby blues”, or the “weepies” as I like to call them. This is a much less severe kind of postpartum depression (PPD). PPD is very real and more serious and lasts much longer. The weepies are usually pretty mild and temporary. The cause is likely the crazy hormone changes that happen during and after pregnancy. In any case, I’ve had the weepies both times and fully expect to have them again this time. For me, it usually centers around the sudden realization that life has dramatically and irrevocably changed and there’s nothing I can do about it.

After Gwen was born, I realized that it will never ever just be “the two of us” again (referring to me and my husband). That season of life- childless newlyweds- was over. Forever. And I mourned the ending of that time. Don’t get me wrong, we were THRILLED to have Gwen in our lives and she brought so much joy and happiness, but I was still sad about the ending of a very sweet chapter in our lives. Those feelings coexisted. Also, breastfeeding in the beginning is hard and my nipples hurt a lot, so I was also crying over that.

After Ivor Baby was born, I mourned the ending of life with just 1 baby. Gwen was my baby, and we very quickly had another one all of a sudden. I was sad that it wasn’t just me and her anymore. And I cried the first time she cried while I was nursing and I couldn’t tend to her right away. And those who were home to help me weren’t responding quickly enough (for my liking), because with just 1 kid it’s much easier to drop everything and go to them right away, which is what I always did. Again, while unexpected, the birth of Ivor Baby was just as happy and joyous an occasion and I can’t imagine life without that little guy and looking back I wouldn’t change a thing about the timing. But for a brief period of time (during the weepies) I felt so sad for Gwen. Turns out, she was just fine, and it was ME who had the hardest time adjusting to her having a new sibling.

THIS time around I think it might center around Ivor Baby and making him a middle child. Will I have ruined his life forever?! Not only will he be the middle child, but the only boy, surrounded by sisters. And he won’t be my baby anymore 🙁 And we’re also going to be outnumbered, my husband and I. I will no longer be able to say “you take Gwen, I’ll take Ivor”. One of us will always have at least 2 at one time. Or 1 will be ignored/put on hold. Ahhh! Putting one of my babies on hold…I want to cry already.

The good news is, like I mentioned earlier, those feelings of sadness are temporary. You adjust and life goes on. That doesn’t mean you don’t still experience difficulties or ever have sad moments again- sleep deprivation definitely fuels that fire. But that brief period of time where you’re just sort of overcome with sadness and cry for no reason (or for specific reasons like I did), will come to an end. And again like I said before, postpartum depression is a lot more serious and not as temporary. I haven’t experienced that so I can’t tell you exactly what it’s like. I’ve only heard 2nd-hand from moms who have gone through it. All I would say there is to find someone to talk to, including your doctor, and get help. There’s no shame there and it’s a lot more common than you might think it is. You’re not alone!

So if you come across a mom who just had a new baby and she seems a little sad, don’t be shocked- have some compassion, patience and understanding. Get her some coffee or a donut and a hug. Between actual hormonal changes going on inside our bodies and the huge life transition that is bringing a new life into this world, it can take its toll. But our beautiful families are so worth it.

Andrea Nyberg Photography

Andrea Nyberg Photography

 

 

 

BG3 (Fiona) Pregnancy Update- getting closer

34 weeks

1 day shy of 34 weeks

Due Date: July 23, 2016

How Far Along: 34 Weeks (tomorrow)

Next Appointment: June 20th

Gender: GIRL!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: + ….a lot. I always put on the majority of the weight in the 3rd trimester. Because I eat all the food I see at this point and I’m too uncomfortable to be any more active than I have to be.

Exercise: Sadly, going up and down stairs and chasing after my 2 kids is all I can muster. I’m super uncomfortable these days…

Stretch Marks: No

Swelling: A bit..mostly during the heat wave though

Maternity Clothes: Yep, all the maternity clothes.

Belly Button: Popped.

Sleep: Not great

Food Cravings: If it’s edible, I’ll eat it.

Food Aversions: Nothing anymore really.

Symptoms: All the pain and discomfort.

Movement: Lots! She’s an active girl in there…and getting to the point where certain movements actually kind of hurt. Like she’s trying to push/kick her way out of my stomach or up through my ribs. Wrong direction, baby girl.

Labor Signs: Not really…braxton hicks have actually lessened a bit, or maybe I’m not noticing them for whatever reason

What I Miss: My non-maternity wardrobe. And being comfortable.

What I’m Loving: Getting closer to her due date!

What I’m Looking Forward To: See above

Best Moment This Week: The one productive day I had when I went through ALL the old baby clothes that were in trash bags, piled in my closet. Kept the good stuff for Fiona and donated all the rest. Be gone with you, clutter!

Words of Wisdom: I’ve been complaining a lot recently about this pregnancy. Unless I’m forgetting what it was really like with the other 2, this pregnancy seems to be taking a much bigger toll on my body physically. My husband agrees that I’ve definitely complained a lot more with this one. I don’t know if she’s bigger, or if it’s just that this is the 3rd time I’ve gone though it and it’s normal to get worse each time or what. But my whole mid-section area just hurts. It’s the worst after I’ve been sitting or laying down and I go to stand and walk a few steps. Those first few steps are killer. Anyway. The wisdom part. I’ve struggled with feeling guilty a bit for complaining (both internally and out loud) so much. Because I’ve experienced loss, I do not take any of this for granted. I know how blessed we are. I am still SO thankful for the reason for my pain and discomfort: the little life growing inside me. In general, I’d love to not complain so much of course. But I think you can still be grateful and thankful AND acknowledge the difficulty too. Like when people say about motherhood “embrace every moment, you’re going to miss this”, ….well, sure…but some moments still really suck at the time. And I think that’s okay. Those ideas don’t have to be mutually exclusive. And to be frank, I have not loved EVERY moment of being a mom…and I don’t miss everything. Like the sleep-deprivation and the monster it turns me into 🙂 Don’t miss that one bit (and won’t miss it after I go through it one more time).  So yes, I do love being pregnant most of the time, but some days just really suck and as beautiful as pregnancy is/can be, I’m much more looking forward to having a baby in my arms, rather than in my belly.

 

BG3 (Fiona) Pregnancy Update!

Just now as I sat down to write this I realized I’m nearing the end of my 2nd trimester already (in about 2 weeks). The 1st trimester dragged on, this trimester flew by. I wonder how the 3rd will feel (I’m hoping for another fly-by). We shall see 🙂

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Due Date: July 23, 2016 (nothing’s changed here)

How Far Along: 26 Weeks

Next Appointment: April 28th

Gender: GIRL!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Close to 20lbs now….It must be the lifting, right? Yes, all muscle and baby (that’s what I’ll keep telling myself…as I stuff my face with chocolate)

Exercise: Still lifting but nearing the end sadly…doctor says no more than 20lbs once I hit 32 weeks (which means I wouldn’t be able to lift my own children soooo, we’ll see :)….)

Stretch Marks: No

Swelling: No

Maternity Clothes: Yep, all the maternity clothes.

Belly Button: About to pop

Sleep: Not terrible, could be better

Food Cravings: Lately, sweets. And still with the Indian food.

Food Aversions: Nothing anymore really.

Symptoms: Lower back aches, leg cramps….meh.

Movement: Yes! I feel her move quite a lot now. Loving it 🙂

Labor Signs: The occasional braxton hick. When I’m dehydrated and really active…but I’ve got it under control now for the most part.

What I Miss: The ability to sneeze without peeing myself a little. And apparently coughing too hard may also cause the peeing….sigh.

What I’m Loving: Feeling the her move and seeing her little kicks and jabs from the outside too.

What I’m Looking Forward To: Same as before- meeting her for the first time! Can’t wait to kiss her little cheeks 🙂

Best Moment This Week: I ate a lot of Indian food…that made me happy.

Words of Wisdom: Pregnancy hormones are not to be trusted.

Until next time, here’s another picture from her ultrasound back in February (cause I like looking at her pictures):

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Stitch Fix Maternity Review (#2 and #3)

Long time, no blog! Sorry. Pregnancy with 2 toddlers running around has made me lazy. Er, just…tired. So I’ve slacked on my blog writing… majorly. To catch you up, I’ve received 2 more Stitch Fix maternity fixes since my last one and they’ve just been knocking it out of the park with this maternity thing! So, I pulled myself together today and took some pictures to show all of you. Also, they just started offering SHOES. And I got a pair. You must read on…

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If a purchase is made using one of my links, I receive a small commission which helps support this blog. That said, all opinions are 100% my own! I love sharing my experience with services I love for all you lovely readers 🙂 

Stitch Fix Maternity Shoes Review

I’ll start with my 2nd maternity fix (which is not the one pictured above). I’ve been asking for MOSTLY non-maternity items that I can wear post-baby too, because I want to be able to get a lot of use out of these items (since this is baby #3 and all). They’ve been doing a great job of satisfying that request while still including a few necessary actual maternity items (which I also requested). And my stylist has been nailing it.

Spoiler for maternity fix #2: I kept EVERYTHING.

{Oh, and bump status for all these photos: 24 weeks pregnant.}

Item #1: Sina V-Neck Printed Maxi Dress $78

Stitch Fix Maternity Sina V-Neck Printed Maxi Dress Stitch Fix Maternity Sina V-Neck Printed Maxi Dress Stitch Fix Maternity Sina V-Neck Printed Maxi Dress

I looooooooove this dress so much. I’ve worn it several times now. It’s not actually a maternity dress so I’ll get plenty of use out of it after the baby comes too. It’s comfortable, lightweight, and I love the print and colors (the top is navy blue). Not sure what else to say about it. It’s a winner.

Item #2: Blaire Maternity Dress $68

Stitch Fix Maternity Blaire Maternity Dress Stitch Fix Maternity Blaire Maternity Dress Stitch Fix Maternity Blaire Maternity Dress

I immediately loved this dress too! I’ve worn this with my white chucks, a cardigan and a long pendant necklace.  These knit maternity dresses are super flattering, comfy and casual. If you’ve been following my Stitch Fix posts for awhile, you’ll notice a pattern: I love “comfy and casual”.  However, this one is starting to get a bit snug on me these days. Which I’m hoping means I’ll get to wear it more post-baby once the bump goes down (despite this one being an actual maternity dress, I think I’ll still be able to wear it a lot in the future).

Items #3 and #4: Sollas Long Sleeve Shirred Cuffs Maternity Knit Top $48, and Mira Skinny Jean  $78

Stitch Fix Maternity Sollas Long Sleeve Shirred Cuffs Maternity Knit Top Stitch Fix Maternity Sollas Long Sleeve Shirred Cuffs Maternity Knit Top Stitch Fix Maternity Mira Skinny Jean Stitch Fix Maternity Mira Skinny Jean

Two more easy winners! The shirt is rather plain and boring, yes. But it’s unbelievably comfy and stretchy and it’s sort of a blank canvas- so I always add a necklace. And it’s a great layering piece. The pants are actually NOT maternity. But they’re slip-on, jeggings basically. So they worked beautifully for early pregnancy and will be great post-baby too. These are also getting quite snug on me now (around the belly area) which makes my belly bump silhouette look lumpy. And nobody wants that. I’ll be looking forward to wearing these again more often post-baby 🙂

Item #5: Genevieve Stacked Chevron Pendant Necklace $28

Stitch Fix Genevieve Stacked Chevron Pendant Necklace

This immediately became my favorite go-to necklace. I wore it almost every day. And then my lovely daughter accidentally broke it 🙁 I am sad. I need to look into a jewelry repair place…because I miss it so much. It’s a great pendant necklace at a great length (though still adjustable of course). It went with everything and added that something extra to every outfit. Sigh….

As I mentioned earlier: this was a home-run 5/5 fix! So I got 25% off, plus some referral credit to put toward it. Woot!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moving on to my latest fix, with the SHOES!

In fact, I’ll just start there.

Item #1: Yippee T-Strap Sandal (NINE WEST) $89

Stitch Fix Shoes Yippee T-Strap Sandal Stitch Fix Shoes Yippee T-Strap Sandal Stitch Fix Shoes Yippee T-Strap Sandal

I was really on the fence with these. They’re not typically my style or like anything I usually wear. What I DID like a lot, was the leopard print. I have leopard print flats pinned on my Pinterest Board, so kudos to my stylist for noticing that. I also love the ankle straps from the back view. But I wasn’t crazy about the little mini-heel (which I just realized I didn’t take a very good picture of) or the overall strap placement and how it looked on my feet. I also determined that I probably wouldn’t get a lot of use out of them anyway. So ultimately, these got: RETURNED.

Item #2: Gemma Maternity Dress (TART) $88

Stitch Fix Maternity Gemma Maternity Dress Stitch Fix Maternity Gemma Maternity Dress Stitch Fix Maternity Gemma Maternity Dress

I really love this dress! It’s crazy soft and comfortable and very flattering. The only reason I didn’t keep it is because I have basically the exact same dress from Old Navy, that a friend passed along to me for free 🙂 Therefore, RETURNED. Also, I’m wearing the shoes in these pics too, so you can get a better idea of what they looked like on.

Item #3: Char Geo Print Maxi Skirt (MARKET & SPRUCE) $58

Stitch Fix Maternity Char Geo Print Maxi Skirt Stitch Fix Maternity Char Geo Print Maxi Skirt

I love the print and the colors on this maxi skirt (it has some yellow and pink in it). It’s not maternity but clearly works during pregnancy and beyond. However, I have a few printed maxi skirts and I’ve come to realize that I don’t have many tops to wear with them and they end up just sitting in my closet. So sadly, RETURNED.

Items #4 and #5: Charlote Ruched Side Maternity Knit Top (LOVEAPPELLA) $48 and Taylor Maternity Cuffed Demin Short (LIVERPOOL) $54

Stitch Fix Maternity Charlote Ruched Side Maternity Knit Top Stitch Fix Maternity Charlote Ruched Side Maternity Knit Top Stitch Fix Maternity Charlote Ruched Side Maternity Knit Top Stitch Fix Maternity Taylor Maternity Cuffed Denim Short

And finally, the winners from this fix! I’ll start with the shirt. It was a no-brainer keeper. It’s cute, casual, comfortable (see…the pattern). It’s long and stretchy enough to last throughout the rest of my pregnancy. It’s soft and lightweight. It’s mine. And the shorts were a specific request. I have (well, had) zero maternity shorts…and I’ll be spending the majority of my 3rd trimester in the summer. That’s just unacceptable. Shorts were a must-have. These fit perfectly. They’re my style. The panel is so soft and not at all tight. I barely even notice it’s there, which is a big deal for me (a lot of maternity bottoms with full panels make my belly itch like CRAZY). There will be no belly itching going on with these shorts. Verdict for both: KEEP!

Well, that’s that. What did you think of the items I received? Would you have kept those sandals?! I can’t to wait to see some other shoe options in my next fixes.

I’ve linked up with Maria at Crazy Together- so be sure to check out her latest fix and a bunch of other awesome bloggers and their latest fixes too! CLICK HERE 🙂

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BG3 (Fiona) Pregnancy Update!

We recently found out that little BG3 is a GIRL! Woohoo 🙂 It was fun watching her on the ultrasound. She was very active but not cooperative at times. The tech already saw the gender when she was doing her initial measurements and capturing the images, but when it came time to show mommy and daddy, baby was very modest…legs crossed, thighs closed lol….cause she’s a lady, after all. But we saw the girl parts eventually. We’re thrilled for another sweet little girl to join our family. Miss Fiona Joy Griffiths is her name 🙂

So, here’s the latest update (and if you missed the 1st one, you can read it here):

Due Date: July 23, 2016 (nothing’s changed here)

How Far Along: 19 Weeks

Next Appointment: March 10th

Gender: GIRL!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: About +10 lbs now (my appetite came back lol…and I’m lifting weights, so I’d like to think some of those lbs are from muscle)

Exercise: Yes! Now that I’m not miserable and puking all the time, I’ve started lifting weights with my husband, as I just mentioned. I’d like to start going for more walks too, especially now that the weather is getting nicer.

Stretch Marks: No

Swelling: No

Maternity Clothes: Yep, all the maternity clothes.

Belly Button: In, but changing shape a bit.

Sleep: What’s that? I have 2 toddlers.

Food Cravings: I can eat most things again which is wonderful. Still love my sweets and a good pizza. Newest craving though is Indian food.

Food Aversions: Still not a big fan of chicken, but depends on how it’s prepared. Last night the hubby made a pesto chicken pasta and that was wonderful. I can also eat chicken in Indian food (like butter chicken for example), but chicken noodle soup? No thanks.

Symptoms: Nausea/vomiting has subsided, but I’m still a crazy emotional mess, with acid reflux, fatigue, gas/bloating, various body aches, etc.

Movement: Yes! I’ve been feeling the occasional little kick and jab for the past 2-3 weeks or so 🙂

Labor Signs: Nope

What I Miss: The ability to sneeze without peeing myself a little.

What I’m Loving: Feeling the baby move

What I’m Looking Forward To: Her birth! Seeing what she looks like and what her little personality will be, how alike/different she’ll be from her big sister and brother, blue eyes or brown eyes, etc.

Best Moment This Week: Obviously finding out the gender and seeing her move all around on the ultrasound.

Words of Wisdom: You’d think after this long I would’ve learned my lesson about Googling things. After the ultrasound I was concerned about what I THOUGHT looked like a very low fluid level (amniotic fluid) despite not being told that by anyone. Some of the images on the ultrasound just looked like Fiona’s poor face was right up against the placenta with little to no fluid in there. So I Googled it….bad idea. Turns out, I’m just a crazy person and everything was totally normal. GOOGLE IS THE ENEMY when you’re a concerned parent. (Yes, I know my husband works there). Just don’t do it, friends. Until you’ve heard something from your own doctor, you are NOT the expert…and neither are the people of the Interwebs. That is all.

Until next time, here’s Fiona saying “Hello from the inside!”

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The big gender reveal for the kiddos (and everyone else when we posted it) 🙂

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BG3 Pregnancy Update

If you haven’t heard the news yet- we’re expecting! Woo! I told the whole story and briefly mentioned what this pregnancy has been like so far, but of course I need to do the much more detailed, formal pregnancy survey, like a good blogger. So, here you go. Enjoy! (I hope I don’t discourage anyone from getting pregnant by reading this lol….it really is a beautiful thing, pregnancy…) 😉

Due date: July 23, 2016
How far along:  13 weeks
Next appointment:  Feb. 11
Gender:  Don’t know yet, will find out on Feb. 25
Total weight gain/loss:  +3lbs so far (I lost some initially with all the vomiting and not wanting to eat anything….)
Exercise: Does running to the bathroom count? If so, then regularly 🙂
Stretch marks: No
Swelling: No
Maternity clothes:  Some, yes. Been showing basically since the day after conception.
Belly button:  In
Sleep: Already starting to wake up for no good reason at about 4am..sometimes earlier. Sometimes it’s just to pee.
Food cravings: Scones/pancakes/waffles. Pizza (thin crust, NY style only) – and I found a great little “hole in the wall” , by-the-slice joint in San Jose. They’ll be seeing a lot of me in the coming months.
Food aversions: Everything other than what I mentioned above really. But especially chicken and vegetables. No, thank you.
Symptoms:  Where do I start? Nausea and vomiting. Epic mood swings (and when it swings the wrong way, look out). All the emotions. The super-sniffer power- I can smell EVERYTHING…and it’s usually not a good thing. Changing poopy diapers? Yeah…not fun normally, but even worse when the smell is intensified x1000. Even harmless cooking smells in the kitchen…unless it’s one of my cravings mentioned above, the smell will likely trigger the gag reflex. Other symptoms: fatigue, gas and bloating, heartburn, headaches, backaches, boob aches. etc. Basically every possible symptom.
Movement: Well yes, but I can’t feel it yet.
Labor signs: No, thankfully.
What I miss:  All the wine.
What I’m loving:  My husband baking, from scratch, anything my heart desires.
What I’m looking forward to:  Less nausea, more energy, and the “glow” everyone talks about. FUN FACT: when you vomit forcefully enough, you can burst blood vessels, leaving little red dots all over your face/neck. So instead of the the pregnancy “glow” I’ve had the pregnancy leprosy.  At least it fades after a few days…just in time for the next vomiting episode to occur.
Best moment this week: Seeing BG3 on the ultrasound yesterday. He/she has transformed from a little bean, into a little human…complete with arms, hands, legs, feet, little toes, etc. Seeing those things just never gets old. He/she was also quite active and not very cooperative…sounds about right 🙂
Words of wisdom: In all seriousness, pregnancy isn’t always a very glamorous or enjoyable experience (sometimes it is though…my pregnancy with Ivor Baby was a BREEZE compared to this). But the goal of getting pregnant isn’t just to get pregnant. It’s to have an actual baby, add to your family and bring a new life into this world. That’s the end game. That’s what we’re looking forward to the most and what makes this all worth it. And since this is most likely going to be my last pregnancy, I am TRYING to savor all the good moments that I know I’ll never get to experience again. Like that first ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat for the very first time. Or when I can feel (and see) the baby moving inside me. And when my husband bakes me vanilla bean scones with a lemon glaze, just because I craved it 🙂 Those are the moments I’ll savor.

 

I’ll leave you with this image of a homemade ice cream sandwich that my husband made me recently (homemade ice cream, homemade chocolate chip cookies, sprinkled with powder sugar and chocolate drizzle). Be jealous ladies.

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Stitch Fix Maternity #1

Stitch Fix Maternity Review

When I first heard that Stitch Fix was launching Maternity, I was super excited! (Although a bit annoyed that it didn’t exist when I had my first 2 kids). I really disliked all my maternity clothes and found myself wearing my non-maternity stuff as long as possible, thereby stretching it out and basically ruining it.

We knew we wanted to have another baby so when I got pregnant again,  one of the first things I did, obviously, was update my “style profile” online to inform my stylist of my new “preggo” status 🙂

You might be wondering “if this is your last baby, why buy new maternity clothes now??” Well, because this has been a rough pregnancy and I’ve felt pretty miserable, so I deserve to at least look stylish & feel confident with my growing bump and go out in style with my last pregnancy 🙂 I’ve also made it clear to my stylist that I prefer tops/skirts/dresses that I can wear post-baby too so that I can get more use out of them. Soft, stretchy fabrics that flatter the curves I only get during pregnancy. That’s what I’m looking for. I’ll also start asking for more accessories too.

So let’s get to it! For my 1st maternity fix, Miranda (my usual stylist now it seems) included 2 maternity-specific items, and 3 non-maternity. Out of the 3 non-maternity, 2 of them would work just fine throughout most of my pregnancy, so I was pleased with that. It just so happens though that the only items I’m keeping from this fix are the maternity-specific things (spoiler!) I’ll start with those.

Oh… also, bump status: 13 weeks pregnant.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If a purchase is made using one of my links, I may receive a small commission which helps support this blog. That said, all opinions are 100% my own! I love sharing my experience with services I love for all you lovely readers 🙂 

Item #1: Alondra Maternity Ruched Skirt (RENEE C) $48

Alondra Maternity Ruched Skirt Stitch Fix Alondra Maternity Ruched Skirt Stitch Fix Alondra Maternity Ruched Skirt Stitch Fix

I looooove this skirt. It’s everything I’m looking for in maternity-wear: soft and stretchy, form-fitting and super flattering to the bump! I emphasized to my stylist that just because I’m pregnant, doesn’t mean I want super loose and baggy clothing now. I like to flaunt the bump, not hide it 🙂 So she nailed it with this one. I wasn’t sure about the olive color at first, but it is a neutral and can pair well with other neutrals: white/ivory, black, navy, grey. I love it so much that I might ask for it again in another color though 🙂

Verdict: KEPT

Item #2: Elwick Printed Maternity Dress (EVERLY) $68

Elwick Printed Maternity Dress Stitch Fix Elwick Printed Maternity Dress Stitch Fix Elwick Printed Maternity Dress Stitch Fix

Now, this dress I said “no” to immediately when I saw the picture on my style card, and even when I first put it on. It doesn’t come with that belt (the belt is mine), and without it….it’s kind of shapeless. Shapeless is the opposite look I want. But as soon as I put that belt on, my mind changed completely and I fell in love with it! The belt gave it some natural pleats and made the bottom “skirt” a little more prominent. The fabric is soft and warm, the print is unlike anything I have in my wardrobe currently and… I just really like it. I felt good in it. And there’s definitely plenty of room to grow in there!

Verdict: KEPT

Item #3: Leiden Asymmetrical Jacket (MARKET & SPRUCE) $64

Leiden Asymmetrical Jacket Stitch Fix Leiden Asymmetrical Jacket Stitch Fix Leiden Asymmetrical Jacket Stitch Fix

This is a cute outer piece that I was considering keeping. It can be worn during and after pregnancy, no problem. I like how comfy the material is (it’s like a sweatshirt) but I wish the sleeves were full-length and that the shoulders weren’t padded. It gives it a more structured blazer-like shape which I don’t typically wear. Overall, just didn’t love it or need it enough to keep.

Verdict: RETURNED

Item #4: Roxella Crochet Detail Tunic (DANIEL RAINN) $78

Roxella Crochet Detail Tunic Stitch Fix Roxella Crochet Detail Tunic Stitch Fix Roxella Crochet Detail Tunic Stitch Fix

I’m not much of a tunic-wearer. I’m not 100% opposed to tunics (in fact, I do own one), but this one just didn’t sell me. It’s all blouse material- not a lot of “give” or stretch to it, so it definitely wouldn’t grow well with my belly. Should I wear more tunics in my future, I’d prefer more fitted and sweater-like I think. And for the price, this one didn’t do it for me. I also wasn’t crazy about the crochet detail on top.

Verdict: RETURNED

Item #5: Amici Printed Sleeve Knit Top (LE LIS) $54

Amici Printed Sleeve Knit Top Stitch Fix Amici Printed Sleeve Knit Top Stitch Fix Amici Printed Sleeve Knit Top Stitch Fix

I so wanted to love this top. And I do love almost everything about it. The fabric is SUPER soft and stretchy and long enough to grow with the bump. It’s casual enough that I’d likely wear it a lot. But I really disliked the “layered t-shirt” look. I wish the polka dot part of the sleeves extended all the way down. Then I would’ve kept it. The layered thing makes it look cheap I think. Anyway, almost but no cigar.

Verdict: RETURNED

So what did you think of my first maternity fix?! Are you pregnant and want to give it a try too?

Want to see more from other Stitch Fix bloggers? Maria, (from Crazy Together) is hosting a link-up. Check it out here! 

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Redeeming July

Many of you are probably already aware of what took place in our lives last July. I wrote a post called “Goodbye July” because it was a pretty sucky month for us and I was glad it was over. To catch you up if you didn’t know, my husband was in a very bad bicycle accident (broken bones, neck brace, nerve damage, etc.) and we suffered our 2nd miscarriage… on the very same day.

So now let me tell you a much happier story!

As terrifying as it was to try again for another baby after suffering 2 miscarriages, we did it anyway. We knew our family felt incomplete and we both desired to have one more baby. It took just a few months before it happened.

It was the day before Thanksgiving. My period was late. I was in a sort of “funk” emotionally and thought something might be up. So I “instacarted” a pregnancy test (because I can) and it showed up within an hour. I peed on that stick as I’ve done so many times in the past. And I swear, this one took the longest time for the results to appear. It says something like 3 minutes on the box, and I think it took every last second of those 3 minutes before it appeared. It felt more like 10 minutes at the time, but there it was:

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As expected, I was overwhelmed with a lot of different emotions. Mostly fear and joy. Fear that it would end in a miscarriage again. Joy that a new life is growing inside me again. Then I did the math and realized when the baby would be due. Late July.  Then came even more tears (mostly of joy).

We’ll be in the hospital again this July, but for a much happier reason 🙂 The accident and miscarriage happened on July 21. Our baby is due on July 23.

But that’s just the beginning of the story!

Because of my “history of miscarriage” my doctor wanted to me to have a blood test to check hcg levels before even coming in for an appointment. In a normal, healthy pregnancy your levels should double every 2 days (in early pregnancy). So this was just to check that everything was developing normally so far. Well, of course, my numbers didn’t *quite* double. They were good and my doctor said it was normal for how far along I was, but she still wanted to do an early ultrasound just to be sure.

So I went in a few days later for the ultrasound. There was a gestational sac, a well-formed yolk sac….and nothing else. There was no visible fetal pole. The sac was measuring about a week earlier than they expected based on my dates. Based on the date of my last menstrual cycle, I should’ve been about 6.5 weeks along at that ultrasound (early enough to see something usually) But I was only measuring 5.5 weeks. So they scheduled me for yet ANOTHER ultrasound a week later.

Well, you can imagine at this point I’m convinced that I’m having another miscarriage. Between my levels not doubling and not seeing a baby on the ultrasound, I was sure this pregnancy was doomed. The next morning I woke up and didn’t even want to get out of bed. My husband and I were supposed to go out to breakfast, but I just laid there, depressed, sad and pissed that this could happen to us AGAIN.

Eventually, I got myself up out of bed, got dressed and was about to go drop Ivor off somewhere when all of a sudden, I ran to the bathroom and puked. And now I was confused. Morning sickness? That’s usually a good sign. Yesterday there was no baby on the ultrasound screen, and today I have morning sickness? But I brushed it off because I know that morning sickness isn’t always a guarantee that all will be well and I was sure that if I Googled “morning sickness and miscarriage” I’d find stories of it happening. So I quickly went back to my “woe is me” attitude.

We went back for the 2nd ultrasound a week later. The room is set up so that the ultrasound screen isn’t visible to the patient, just the ultrasound tech. She was in a hurry because they were running super late. She seemed friendly and talked to us and asked questions. But it wasn’t until she was done, at the very end, that she finally turned the screen so that I could see. There was a baby! And a heartbeat!

::Cue the tears::

For the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I felt calm. Mind you, all of this took place BEFORE I even had my regularly scheduled “first OB appointment”. Had it not been for my “history” I would’ve never had those early tests/scans. I would’ve just showed up for my first appointment on December 17, when I was 8 weeks along, and saw this little bean:

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Checking up on things too early in pregnancy just causes unnecessary worry/anxiety I think. And worry and anxiety took over A LOT in those first few weeks. I couldn’t just enjoy being pregnant. I was constantly afraid that every time I went to the bathroom, I’d see blood. And that we’d have that ultrasound and hear those words from the doctor again, “there’s no heartbeat”.

Even now that I’m almost 13 weeks along and everything has gone well so far, fear still creeps in occasionally and reminds me of all the things that could STILL go wrong. Late miscarriage. Genetic disorders. Stillbirth. What a miserable way to live though, constantly worrying about all that could go wrong. God did not give me a spirit of fear. That comes straight from Satan himself and he feeds off it it. No matter what happens, God is still in control and He will not abandon us. I will not let fear steal my joy!

Finding Nemo is my son’s favorite movie and we watch it A LOT. But there’s one scene in particular that hit home when we watched it recently. If you’ve lived under a rock and haven’t seen it, let me set the scene for you. Marlin and Dori are on their journey to find Nemo. They’re almost to Sydney (where they know Nemo is, somewhere), when all of a sudden they get swallowed by a giant whale.

And that’s about where I am right now 🙂 Letting go and trusting God, even though I don’t know exactly what will happen.

Aside from the fear/anxiety issue, this pregnancy has been rough in other ways too. I’ve had horrible nausea. The “all-day sickness” has stuck around since the first morning it arrived. I’ve lived with near-constant wooziness for about 5 weeks straight. There has been A LOT of vomiting and overall I’ve felt the worst I’ve ever felt with any pregnancy. My doctor said that I’d experience all the discomforts of pregnancy much earlier this time around and man was she right! In addition to nausea/vomiting, there’s the fun mood swings and irritability (pray for my husband and kids please), back pain, boob pain, heartburn, headaches, gas/bloating, etc. Pregnancy is soooo glamorous isn’t it?? 🙂

As miserable as those things are, they’re all a reminder of the little life growing inside me. So it’s hard to complain (though I still do….).

We’ll find out the gender at the end of February, so get your guesses in now 🙂 And stay tuned for more pregnancy updates and……STITCH FIX MATERNITY!!  It’s 99% likely that this will be our last baby so it might be weird to buy all new, nice maternity clothes now, but I’ve decided that since I’ve felt so miserable, I’m going out in style with this one (and then I’ll sell it all) lol.

Anyway, we’d appreciate your prayers throughout this pregnancy. That BG3 would be strong and healthy and that I’d be able to experience the peace of God and really enjoy the rest of this pregnancy (to the extent possible). Thanks!