The Benefits of Vulnerability

25efa52b6acd837de7e2666d2fac00a8

I’ve been thinking recently about how important and beneficial it is, to yourself and to others, to be vulnerable and share your story with people. Whatever that story is. But especially the hard stuff. The struggles. The sufferings. The trials. I’m not saying everyone should start a public blog and share it with the world or post it all in a facebook status. Though for some of us, that is what we choose to do (for some things). For others (including myself), we save certain things to be shared only with a select few, or a very small group of trusted friends. And that’s fine too. But how great the burden must be to never share it with anyone, ever. How lonely, isolating and miserable must that be? We tend to believe lies much easier in isolation. When just left alone with your own thoughts, feelings, and the whispers of Satan who takes full advantage of having your undivided attention.

I share my stories of miscarriage with others because I experienced the negative consequences of keeping it to myself, for a brief time. At first, when I decided to share, it was just a therapeutic thing for me to do (I’ve always been a writer/journal-er). But then God started to use my story to help others who have gone through similar situations. Not that I ever wanted or asked to be some “voice for miscarriage”, but that is one good thing that came from the situation. And then how God comforted, healed and strengthened my faith through the process…how could I NOT share that with others?

We share our struggles and experiences so that we know we’re not alone.

I’ve been going to a weekly prayer group recently that’s focused on praying for your spouse and I’ve seen the same sort of thing play out. I want to first explain that this group is led and directed in a very respectful manner and there is NO “husband bashing” or belittling going on whatsoever. That’s not at all what’s happening. Any struggles that are talked about are always brought up in a loving and respectful way, addressing common marriage struggles in general- not nit-picking or complaining about any one person. That’s gossip and it’s harmful and I would get up and leave if that ever started happening.  This is mostly about changing our own hearts and attitudes as wives and developing a habit of prayer for your spouse. Discussion is encouraged but not required. Anyway! As I sat there listening to a few stories shared the other day, I thought to myself…“huh…I guess we’re not the only ones.” We tend to think that we’re the only ones struggling with something. Or my husband is the only one who does this, or doesn’t do that. And everyone else has it all together. But once we start talking about it, out loud, we discover that’s not at all the case. We are not the only ones in the history of the ever to go through this specific thing. I’m not the only wife who struggles with “xyz”. That kind of perspective makes a HUGE difference (in a positive way) in the way I view myself as a wife, the way I view my husband, our marriage in general and gives me hope for resolution of certain things.

When NOT addressed in a respectful way and with the right heart attitude, that kind of public “sharing” can be the complete opposite of positive and helpful. I wrote a post on that issue sometime last year after being disgusted by a particular facebook thread that was filled with wives complaining about their husbands. That is certainly not what I’m talking about here, and it’s what I respect and appreciate so much about this particular prayer group that I’m going to…that they DON’T do that.

Anyway- whatever it is (marriage or parenting struggles, depression, anxiety, bitterness, jealousy, etc.), I would encourage you to allow yourself to be vulnerable and find someone to talk to about it and share your story with. But use wisdom when you do. Certain places (like a facebook group filled with bitter wives) might not be the best place, as some people can just feed your negativity and make things worse.

That is all. Those are my thoughts for today 🙂

 

 

Speak Your Mind

*